A lot of men love anal sex, but women? Not so much. They tend to have more of a love/hate relationship with it. Even if a woman likes anal sex, she is rarely as obsessed with it as some men can be. While women might not fully understand the draw of anal sex for men, you can understand her feelings on it. I’m going to share with you the inside scoop. I’m not going to promise that all women feel the same way, but I can share some generalizations that will help you to understand the female experience of anal sex better.
Some people believe that women will either love or hate anal sex. Period. Others think that those that hate it just haven’t done it right yet. My opinion falls somewhere in the middle There are so many guys who don’t seem to know what they’re doing when it comes to anal. If a woman has been with an inexperienced guy and had a bad time, it’s very unlikely that she will want to try anal again, no matter what her partner (or new partner) says. An experience with someone who knows to go very slow, use lots of lubrication (and reapply when necessary!), and to try different positions for maximum comfort is more likely to go well. Of course there will always be women who won’t like it no matter what anal sexpert she is with. But that’s just life. Everyone likes something different in bed. So here is my list of what women love and hate about anal… and what you can do about it.
OH YES, YES, YES!
1. She says: It feels really good. If done right, anal sex can feel great for a woman. You’re inside her, but you’re not in her vagina. The sensation is awesome, but it’s not what she knows. How to get her there? Always use a lot of lube. Start slow and continue to go slow unless you get the green light from her to speed things up. Now, when I say go slow, I’m talking about really, painfully slow. Give her time to relax. If she is nervous she might inadvertently tense up her rectum and that will cause pain. If you go very slowly then she will be able to relax into and it will be less likely that she’ll feel pain. Most of the sensitive nerve endings are concentrated in the anal opening, the surrounding area and just inside. This means you don’t need to go too deep in order for her to get the most out of it. Once you’re in, reach your hand around and stimulate her clitoris. She can (and likely will!) have a powerful orgasm from the combined sensations of anal penetration and clitoral stimulation. Remember to take it easy!
2. She says: It’s so taboo! Another big turn off of anal sex is that it’s still very taboo. Even though more and more couples are trying it and incorporating it into their sexual repertoire, it still something that many people don’t talk about doing. It’s still considered quite naughty. For many women, feeling like a bad girl, even if it’s just for a night, is a huge turn on. She can behave all the time outside the bedroom, but this let’s her be oh-so-bad without anyone being the wiser.
NO, THANK YOU!
1. She says: It hurts. You have to remember our rules about going slowly and using tons of lube, but for some women anal sex just hurts or is too uncomfortable to enjoy. The vagina is made to stretch and accommodate, but the rectum is not the same. If you are particularly well endowed you might find that anal sex is off the table for you. It might hurt to much no matter how slow you go. If it’s painful, try inserting just the tip of your penis. If she still says ouch, you might have to just explore other anal pleasures (like analingus and fingering).
2. She says: It’s dirty, and not in a good way. Some women are turned off to anal sex because they think it’s dirty and messy. Women want to be attractive, sexy, and smelling good for their partners, so the idea of poo being involved in their sexiest moment might be a huge turn off. There are a few things she can do to prepare and avoid possible leaking. First she can give herself an enema. If that idea is too intense, then she can also make sure she has gone to the bathroom and emptied her bowels before anal sex. She can also shower first to clean the area. In fact, you can shower together and make it part of your foreplay!
As always, if your partner is more of a hater of anal than a lover, you might just have to accept that it’s not in the cards for you. She’s never going to enjoy it if she’s really against it because she has to go into it with an open mind. Plus no one likes being hassled into something, especially when it comes to sex! But if she’s up for it, remember my tips to turn her into a lover 100%!